What is Necessary to be Happy?

 

Op-ed by TheWiseOldFart

 

It’s easy to remember the difficult, and sad times in our life. Why is it so hard to remember when we were truly happy? Let me begin with an irrefutable fact: if you spend hours each day on social media, you will never be truly happy. Social media stresses the importance of wealth, fame, power, and acceptance into a level of society which is unrealistic. Your life will lack fulfillment if your only goal in life is to obtain material things.

Let’s make time for a little introspection. Try very hard to remember a time you wished would last forever. Maybe it was the first time you knew you could ride a bike. Could it have been the first time you played baseball, or basketball? It could have been the first time you were kissed by a boy or girl, or danced with someone who you were sure would become the love of your life.

We remember our failures and rejections, but not the successes and the joy of our first love.

One of my favorite axioms was written for those of us who were seeking a career. “If you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life.” This can be applied to everything. Simple things, like a walk along a beach, or the first time you skied down a bunny slope resulted in joy money can’t buy.

I challenge each of you to find at least one moment in each day that brought you true happiness. Ignore the “musts,” the rules, and the little difficulties you are required to face, and focus on that one moment. And don’t forget it. Keep it in your memory, close to your heart.

At the age of 77, I have a bit of an advantage. Big events which made me happy like the birth of my children, finding the love of my life 31 years ago, and buying my first and only home brought great joy. However other, much smaller things made me smile and have given me that good feeling as well. Some of these happen every day, but when I was young I failed to understand their importance.

Pleasure, challenge, and meaning are the elements which make life worthwhile, and create feelings of happiness. Physical pleasure can result from a relationship with a loved one, foods which are unique to each individual, but also include physical exertion from exercise or participating in sports. Personally, most of this no longer exists for a man closer to 80 than 70.

Challenges face us every day. We have a choice. We can accept challenges with an attitude that solving problems is a basic and important part of living, or we can find fear in the unknown. Attitude becomes everything.

Having meaning in life is complicated. Questions such as “what is the meaning of life” are universal. There is no single answer. This is why defining happiness is extremely difficult because it is very different for every individual.

The problem is that we focus on the negative, rarely the positive. Pain is easier to remember than pleasure.

Change your attitude and focus on the little things which bring joy to your life. You will be renewed.

Op-ed by James Turnage

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