Not a Single Late Night Comedy Writer Could Have Written the Biggest Laugh I Have Had in Years

Op-ed by TheWiseOldFart

 

When I read the news this afternoon, I laughed out loud and celebrated a victory for all true Americans.

The Joke actually began in January of 2023. The Republican Party in Name Only regained power in the House after the 2022 election, but only by the slimmest of margins. In January of 2023 Kevin McCarthy was nominated to become the next Speaker. However, a “Republican Party” in chaos was divided and for the first time in history it failed to select a Speaker on the first vote. In fact, after multiple concessions from the California Representative, McCarthy was finally declared the next Speaker after ballot number 15. History was made and I chuckled. I have believed that the once Grand Old Party has been incapable of governing since 1981.

But that was just the beginning. McCarthy proved to be the worst Speaker in history. One of his concessions to the fascist Freedom Caucus was that a single congressman could make a motion to remove the current Speaker. One member of the Freedom Caucus, Matt Gaetz, did just that in the beginning of October.

You might want to go to the bathroom before I continue. The fake Republicans in the House are so dysfunctional, you must laugh out loud, and occasionally so hard, you could pee your pants.

On October 11, a member of the Freedom Caucus and a MAGA Republican, Steve Scalise, was nominated as the next Speaker. However, two days after his selection, he removed his name from contention knowing that he would never receive the 217 votes needed to win. And the beat goes on.

Next to be nominated by those who call themselves “Republicans” was Jim Jordan. Jordan is not only a member of the fascist Freedom Caucus, he is one of its founders. Like McCarthy, he displayed a desperate intention to become the next leader of the House. Like McCarthy, he lost the first vote. 20 “Republicans” voted against him. A second vote saw an increase in GOP opposition. He lost by 22 votes. Today, October 20, a third vote revealed a growing number of his own party in opposition as he lost by 25 votes. In a closed meeting, right-wing politicians removed his name from possible successors to McCarthy.

What should make us all laugh, and later become frightened, is the fact that since January of 2017 this is the new and self-imploded Republican Party. It is only a memory and no one with average intelligence would vote for anyone with an “R” next to his or her name, candidates who would destroy the United States of America once and for all.

All Republicans oppose the issues most important to the American people, including universal healthcare, fair taxation, women’s rights, free or affordable education, voting rights guaranteed by the Constitution, raising the minimum wage, repealing the Electoral College, and term limits for all branches of government. I ask a serious question which must be answered truthfully: “if right-wing politicians refuse to vote for you, why would you vote for them?”

Op-ed by James Turnage

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